2Passion's Blog
Confessions of a Baby Boomer

Hit me with your best shot

Ok. I think I probably bring a different perspective to this whole issue.  I think my ex was a narcissist.  I was an enabler. I was an adulterer.  I cheated. I tried to reconcile. It didn’t work. I filed for divorce. I have dealt with the aftermath of the affairs and the divorce.  I am very happy.  The ex is not and seems incapable of moving on. Maybe not different but broader.  Been there. Done that.

So I think that about covers it all. Plus throw in the fact that I am old, and you have wealth of knowledge.  I can tell you exactly what not to do!

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Every situation is different.  I see people dealing with the pain of affairs.  What to do?  Reconcile?  Separate? Divorce?  Here is one thing I know, the aggrieved spouse has control if they know how to use it.  I don’t mean control  over the cheating partner but control over what happens.  In most cases, judges don’t like adultery and the threat of that can often benefit the aggrieved spouse if they want to separate or divorce.  But there is something that you need to be aware of. In some states, condonation is approval of certain behavior. As it applies to the divorce,condonation happens when you resume sexual relations after you learn that your partner has been unfaithful. A night together for old time’s sake after learning of adultery could pull the legs out from a case based on adulteryIt could also apply to other situations.

 

Also, I know of a case where the cheating partner wanted to reconcile and confessed to other affairs in counseling.  In our state, that is not protected and the aggrieved spouse hammered them in a settlement.

You never want to counsel people to get a divorce but you need to know what your legal rights are in your particular case.

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So here I am. Hit me with your best shot.

 

4 Responses to “Hit me with your best shot”

  1. Stay/leave, reconcile/divorce, wayward/betrayed, hate/love, revenge/forgiving, today/tomorrow/next week/next year, there are so many options. It’s a longshot that we are going to get it right the first time, and no matter what choice there is always some regret that you chose the wrong road.

    I’m glad that you found a path that sounds like you are headed for happiness. Isn’t that what we are all hoping for?

    It’s that path that we choose, we have to accept and commit to. It’s always our choice.

    • Good to hear from you. I always appreciated your thoughts and comments. What path have you chosen?

      • I’m still in the same place literally, as well as figuratively. I have accept my place in life and chosen the easy way to live without challenging the Gods.

        You mentioned or at least I heard it, that age plays a big part of the choices that we make. I have accepted that I don’t want to make such a drastic change at this point in my life. I have bigger things to fulfill my life than the way that I was living life ten years ago.

        I have less expectations and don’t let it worry me, or push me into acting like a fool and losing what I do have. I still spend most of my time doing the things that I really want to, I can on do a portion of the things that I used to do physically, and I accept that it has came along with age.

        My life is full, and really overflowing with the bountiful gifts of happiness.

        The circle of life is amazing when you are enjoying it.

        I enjoy your thoughts and agree with you. I think you are a very lucky man indeed.

      • Sounds like you are pretty lucky as well. If I recall, you had pretty much gotten things together some time ago. About the time mine was unraveling!! A lot has changed and I am truly lucky. I wish you happiness. I think that is what all this is about.


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